Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Work Life Balance Coach Mack Arrington, PCC

Small things can matter a lot.
Especially when your life is out of balance.

 

“I just don’t have anything left to give,” she said flatly in the phone session. The only thing missing from her persona was the Super Sales Mom costume and cape, and she obviously was not having a good day. She had taken time out from her high-pressured sales job to talk with her life coach.

“What are some things you already do well?” asked Coach Mack.

“I am a good mom,” she began. “I keep a tidy home. I entertain well. I love gourmet cooking. I have some good hobbies. I am successful in my job. I like to have fun.”

“Sounds like you have a lot going on. What do you do for fun? Can you give me ten fun things that bring a good flavor to your life?”

“Oh that’s easy,” said she:

Settling into a good book
Being with my husband
Big fires with great friends, conversation and debate
Hot bubble baths with candle light
Swimming
Picnics and family time
Dancing
Gardening
Parties and organizing them
Cooking

“Wow,” said the coach, “I’m impressed that you listed all those things so quickly. When is the last time you did any of that?”

  Silence.
  Silence.
  Silence.

In a thoughtful and deliberate tone, Super Sales Mom replied, “I think I just figured out why I am so unhappy. I can’t remember the last time I did any of these things.”

“Sounds like an ‘Aha’ moment. I am hearing that you deeply need to put on your own oxygen mask first, and then you can help everyone else,” said the coach, "Did I get that right?"

“Ya think?” exclaimed Super Sales Mom, “I didn’t include the ‘fun at work’ list either.”

“How will you go about putting on your own oxygen mask first?” asked the coach.No obligation personal coach consultation with Mack Arrington - Greensboro personal coach

You feel out of balance. How to restore balance?

Whether you are an executive, business owner, stay-at-home parent, student, spouse, salesperson, friend or family, your balancing point in your life can shift while everything else remains the same.

Maybe it’s not clear how your life got this way, but you know in your knower that you want your life to be different. You have to make changes. What changes do you need to make? Can you make them without causing irreparable damage? How do you sort out what parts are work, what parts are life and what parts are simply you? What if you’re wrong and make a bad move?

Something has to give. Does it have to be you?

Getting off the roller coaster

Sometimes you have to get off the roller coaster of life and take stock of who you are. I had become highly successful in a career that was draining me dry, and my life was so orchestrated I felt my only escape could be through breakdown or rebellion. The thoughts of changing anything were overwhelming. I had lost control and my life defaulted into a preset schedule with preset goals that, if successful, would deliver me at the end of the day to a place I no longer wanted to be. Something had to give.

There are only two ways people learn to treat you

There are only two ways people learn to treat you. One is what you teach them, the other is what they get by with. If you are not happy in your relationships with others or with yourself, the big question to ask is, “What have I been teaching?”

What have you been teaching yourself, your family, friends, colleagues, boss, customers, and all the other people in your life? What have they been getting by with?

How do you make the changes you need for your work life balance? First you have to decide what you want to teach the people in your life, and then you have to decide how to teach them so they really get it. You also need to decide and practice your response for when they overstep.

What usually happens?

Usually some people will readily change to meet and respect your requests because you have made your preferences known. Others will take a long time to change their habits in your relationship, but will make the effort. For those who do not change either because they cannot or they will not, you must decide if you want to keep these relationships or not.

There is some amount of risk involved as you eliminate what you tolerate and bring your life into a balance that is your own balance. You have to tread in unfamiliar territory. You have to stake new boundaries without knowing who will or will not respect them. Like anything new, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable—but you might already be feeling awkward and uncomfortable. It can be easy to ambush your own best efforts by settling back into what you already know and do.

Sometimes you explore your life and discover you are already balanced. Sometimes you find that the thing that was giving you the most trouble is the only thing holding your life together. Sometimes you have to break out of your rut and change everything. Sometimes you need to create a rut that you enjoy. It’s up to you. What do you want to do to put on your own oxygen mask first?

No obligation personal coach consultation with Mack Arrington - Greensboro personal coach

What do you get from a no obligation consultation?

I have helped my clients deal with many situations that have impacted their productivity and balance in life. This includes business problems, leadership development, sales management and productivity, family sickness, business and personal relationships, conflicts and disagreements, challenges with peers and customers, peacemaking and personal issues where having someone to listen and reflect can be priceless. You can expect to gain clarity in the consultation, and experiencing a breakthrough is not uncommon.

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
—Terry Pratchett 

I am so grateful for where I find myself. I struggle with change and I have had my share of it in the past year. I appreciate your support so much. If I didn't know you were in my corner I would not have the courage to keep going. But you are there so I keep walking towards the goal. Most people can only dream of having a life like mine.
Thanks!

Stephanie Thomas,
Owner - A Shade of Art

The small things matter. Being more balanced doesn’t mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investments in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life. Moreover, I think it can transform society, because if enough people do it, we can change society’s definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well-lived looks like. And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.

—Nigel Marsh

Impressive?
Too many people spend
    money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
    to impress people they don't like.

—Will Rogers

Finding Yourself
I have come to believe that nobody really "finds" themselves. You have to build yourself by doing different things until you find what fits. By "finding yourself" you realize that at last you have built yourself into somebody you like.

—Coach Mack

Life Starts
Life starts when you make the choice to be authentically alive for the rest of it.

The True Jade Master
Once upon a time a young man was casting about for a career and eventually decided to go into the jade trade. He found a master jade trader and began to pester him to be his apprentice. After a while the master jade trader consented, but in a trade where it takes years to develop into a master trader, the apprentice would have to do exactly as instructed. The master gave the apprentice a piece of fine quality jade with the instructions that every day the apprentice was to spend an hour looking at the piece of jade, and the rest of the time running errands, sweeping floors and doing odd jobs.

After a year of this arrangement, the apprentice was feeling he had wasted the whole year, and so he confronted the master. "I have been here for a WHOLE YEAR," he exclaimed to the master, "I have swept all the floors I can sweep, I have run all the errands and done all the odd jobs, and after looking at this stupid piece of jade for a year I haven't learned a thing!"

With that the master trader handed the apprentice a wonderous green stone and said, "Tell me, what do you think of this piece of jade?"

With only a brief look at the stone, the apprentice said flatly, "That's not jade..."

We must learn to know the true jade of living a fulfilling life or else chance living something far less. Who offers you the true jade and who offers you the false? Choose your coach with care.

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PCC-ICF - Professional Certified Coach - International Coach Federation Coach U - Greensboro Certified Life Coach - Mack Arrington